Stress Test

Last year we had planned to move from Bakersfield to Arkansas. Mrs. Ray had never changed her plan, but of course if we were separated I would stay in California. Since getting back together, and recommitting ourselves to our relationship, Mrs Ray had located a house and we purchased it. (This included house financing in both our names together.)

In the weeks from July into August, we made our move. We did most of the work ourselves (and the help of many friends in both places). If you've ever made a major cross country move, you know the stress involved, On top of that, it was 102˚F the days we packed up in Bakersfield. I worked hard, but Mrs. Ray can't hold up in that heat. (Much earlier, we had had a Retrouvaille dialog about this, which helped me get a better understanding of Mrs. Ray's endurance in heat.) At one point I was worried I'd hear her say, "I can't continue in this relationship". But when Mrs. Ray said we really needed to talk one evening (our last night in Bakersfield, at a hotel), her words were "I really do want to make our marriage work". Yes, it was stressful to pack up and load our stuff in a short time. But inside I was so glad to hear Mrs. Ray say this. We talked through our issues, and went to sleep.

The next day was a series of late appointments before we headed east. But around 4 o'clock we finally got a start. Our drive turned into a nice road trip. And I feel we were able to find some of the old happiness we both felt as we did one of our favorite things we called "driving around aimlessly".

As I write this, our new home is packed full of boxes. We can barely move around, but we are both happy for the new place. The high point for me was last night, laying in bed, Mrs. Ray smiled at me and quietly said, "I love you".