Mrs. Ray and I are solidly on the way to rebuilding our marriage. We've been dialogging nearly every day. How did I manage to convince Mrs. Ray to get back together?
I didn't. I gave up. Read it: April 23 - "(No title. You've seen it before.)"
Since that time, all I did was hope. Mrs. Ray and I had very little contact between April 23 and May 5 ("Mrs. Ray's Thoughts:"). The occasional phone call or email about things, but no real attempt on getting back together. The one thing I did do was pray, and ask God to handle the situation.
So, there was nothing I did, after Mrs. Ray's Final Decision. But God was able to work on her heart and mind, to re-open a door she had closed. God has a definite opinion on divorce. I'm sure He is not interested in taking part in messing up something He created and gave to us.
We have sold the house (Mrs. Ray's already moved out you know), and I move out in the first week of June. Yes, then I'll move in with my wife (!!) until she takes off "back east". We agree that the following two months we will continue Retrouvaille dialog and continue to work on our relationship. The we should be back together, "Happily Ever After"
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individual visitors since 2006
Ray's and Mrs. Ray's journey through divorce. Mrs. Ray did not ask - she stated - we will get a divorce. She has spent over two years building up aggravation at the way I treat her. I am clueless, but her perception is her reality. I'm also doing my best to examine myself and to make myself acceptable to her. I just might be too late.
This is my chronicle of divorce
(Warning! Christian content will appear without warning!)
I absolutely do not want a divorce, but for reasons my wife states, she wants out. (no affair, abuse or other bad stuff like that). The real reasons may come out in the blog.
This blog is totally anonymous. OK, I used to live in California. Ray is the name I'm using on this blog, it's not my real name.
I absolutely do not want a divorce, but for reasons my wife states, she wants out. (no affair, abuse or other bad stuff like that). The real reasons may come out in the blog.
This blog is totally anonymous. OK, I used to live in California. Ray is the name I'm using on this blog, it's not my real name.
individual visitors since 2006
2 comments:
Ray I just want to say I am so happy for you and your wife!! I have been reading your blog since someone told me about it from Glass Gloves.
I am going thru the same thing, with my wife, and I want to be where your at in the future!
Don't loose what you have learned...and when you find yourself wanting to slip backwards...just watch the other couples around you...watch how the "guys" treat thier wives...you will straighten up real quick!
Now you know what it felt like when she was gone....
I didn't know what I had either...
May God bless you and your wife!!
Thanks, Gabe. Follow the advice on GG. Don't lose hope or Faith in the Almighty.
Some observations that don't really fit as a blog entry, but I now see 'cause of my experience:
1. Many of the Retrouvaille folk remind me of recovering alcoholics in AA who need the program to keep sober. Well, in a way, I see the same thing with Retrouvaille - the couples need the program (dialog & supporting fellowship) to keep their marriage strong. No chop on these people - they are COMMITTED to their marriage in ways many others don't understand yet.
2. In the movie Babel, the central couple start with a conversation where the woman is sadly emotional and weeping. Her husband is nearly clueless about her feelings, but loves her. A friend didn't understand the scene & asked me what was going on. I knew exactly what was going on.
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