Tuesday, July 6, 2010

3,524 days

November 11, 2000 to July 6, 2010
9 years, 7 months, 25 days.
Kathy's (Mrs. Ray) divorce is declared by the court.

THE END

Update 4/14, 2013
A year or so ago, I did re-marry. We are very happy together.
-- Ray

Monday, July 5, 2010

What Universe am I in?

Mrs. Ray has a suggestion for me: Move to be near my son & daughter-in_law & granddaughter. My first wife (His Mom) is there. Mrs. Ray's reasoning? Well, maybe old sparks can re-kindle with Mrs Ray #1! I wanted to be polite and not tell her how idiotic that was.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Turning Point - Not!

The turning point issues are somewhat still going on. Her car is still in the shop, three weeks later.

For financial reasons, (I'm "between jobs" for one of the few times in my life) I live at home, with my soon to be ex-wife - separate bedrooms. I really refuse to move until I have a new job because It's not my idea to split up. If Mrs. Ray wants a divorce, she's got to be the one who leaves. Or at least until I find a new job, anywhere.

Anyway, it makes my personal feelings hellish, since Mrs Ray does not consider herself married any more, but we're sharing facilities. I do not want to speak up on any issues, because living like this would be even harder if she wanted to argue. I will be out of here like a bullet when I have a job. Readers, not to worry, I am filling out applications all over the state. I don't stay home watching Price Is Right during the day.

Though I'm talking about jobs right now, this blog is about my wilting marriage. But two major stressors are working together: Divorce and Unemployment (and money), to really push me into a pit of despair. I have given up on the former (though I still pray for God's hand to fix it!) and I'm close to giving up on the latter, which is something I have never experienced before.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Turning Point II?

On December 16, 2007, I posted an entry called "Turning Point", wherein Mrs. Ray had all kinds of trouble being locked out of her apartment and things. [Increase spooky factor x5: Today is JUNE 16, exactly 3½ years later!] Well, yesterday she made a two hour trip to buy tires; they were out of stock so she had to drive two hours back home. By the time she had gotten home, the clutch in her car went out. I can get the parts tomorrow to repair it. Finally, Mrs. Ray went out to bush-hog our pasture (about 12 acres) and the hydraulic pump literally blew out on the tractor.
So, she wrote a post on Facebook stating all this, then she asks "Is God trying to tell me to stay away from machinery?" God isn't "trying" to tell anyone anything. But my heart breaks that I can't tell Mrs. Ray what I think is going on! Also, Mrs. Ray is nearly broke - payday is Friday. But she is out of cash and her cards are just about maxed. I have a bit more than that, so I "paid" her $50 for groceries. I don't think she gets how much I still care for her. I just wish I could explain all this.
These few days are very interesting and emotionally trying.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Signing my life away

Today I signed the "Non-Contested" papers. What else is there to say? I would like to continue to love Mrs. Ray, but at this time it looks like the end of that road.

That's 3,481 days. Mostly good days. No more.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

9mm or .38? What's Your Pleasure?

We are discussing our personal property - who gets what. I'm about as excited to do this as I would be discussing which pistol I can use to shoot myself. With Mrs. Ray I am not a good negotiator. She wants me to take care of things I believe should be "hers", but I have a hard time dealing with. Not the usual stuff: how about a prefab fireplace she wanted, we bought but never installed (still in the box). $900 that I have tried to sell, but we still have. If I'm supposed to move, what do I do with this?

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Who's Leaving?

Mrs. Ray has begun to insist that I leave town after the divorce is final. "This is a small town!"
Tell me something I don't know! And, when we are separate individuals again, I don't think I will need to even discuss my new address. From Day One, I have considered our divorce to be 100% Mrs. Ray's responsibility. Yes, I helped her move out, I helped her in may ways before, but then my overall goal was to keep on good terms, and keep honest communication open. (That part worked!)
I am really, deeply interested, even now, in maintaining and patching up our marriage, but I don't have that much energy left. I pray every day for God's intervention, but that's all I have left - prayer, hope and faith.