Mrs. Ray, her son, daughter-in-law ("June" here) and grandson and I were having dinner at a restaurant that has peanuts out before the meal starts. The 5 year-old boy is making a mess (as most 5-year olds will) of peanut shells on the table. When the dinner comes, I pick up the can for empty shells (a small bucket) and offer it June to help clean up the mess before we eat. Things roll along fine, I feel.
BUT, as soon as Mrs. Ray and I are in the car, I get hit with "You insisted that June use the bucket to clean up the peanut shells. That made her mad enough to want to leave. We went to counseling to get you to stop making people do things. If you continue to insist on making other people do things your way, then I will go ahead and get a divorce."
As it is, I rarely start up any conversation with her family. I never make suggestions about nearly anything. I am so scared of having her jump down my throat again. I get bored when we all have dinner together. I still participate in conversation, but I do not want to say anything Mrs. Ray might think is offensive, so I mostly sit and listen.
This just happened, and other than an apology (not really accepted by Mrs. Ray) we have not spoken the rest of the evening, even though it's just the two of us here now. I have written how Mrs. Ray does not really like to do the Retrouvaille thing. We'll just have to see how this all pans out.
UPDATE July 18: June, Mrs. Ray and I were all together finally. I immediately and profusely apologized to June for forcing her to use the bucket at the restaurant. Mrs. Ray smiled to see that I was doing the right thing. June was mystified that I was apologizing for such a matter.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Well, maybe ....
Nearly two years later....
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