Mrs. Ray came over to discuss Boundaries in Marriage
She pointed out there are still some areas I need to work on: Control, honesty and remarks. Controlling others is something I have found that I have been doing. Now I am working on stopping it. Many control methods are very subtle, and I need to identify them and get them under (ahem) control. The honesty issue might be related to control, as I try to influence others. Mrs. Ray says I often make rude and cutting remarks, even without knowing it.
Mrs. Ray is not interested in Retrouvaille. They concentrate on communication, but we have other issues. As if communication won't help work out the other issues. Go figure. She says we need to keep seeing each other, talking, and working out the issues. Yeah, we can do that, but I feel we should have more involvement with the counselor. As it is, I feel lousy about things now. This was not a good weekend.
1 comment:
Why the hesitation to try Retrouvaille?? Retrouvaille is a wonderful program that will arm you with the techniques and tools you need to re-connect on an emotional level and communicate better. This better communication will gateway into more effective speaking and listening, better conflict management, better understanding, ultimately leading to a much better relationship. It's very encouraging to me that Mrs. Ray wants to keep seeing you and wants to continue working at your relationship. See what you can do to re-introduce the idea of a Retrouvaille Weekend to her. Reassure her that Retrouvaille won't take the place of your counselor, it will simply be another tool for you to use to heal. Take it from someone whose been in your shoes, Retrouvaille is a wonderful program.
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