For the most part, I have stayed away from the actual issues involved. But today with the counselor (and Mrs. Ray in attendance) I discovered my "so-called control issues" might be better defined as my expectations: I might expect Mrs. Ray to act a certain way or do a particular thing. And if she doesn't, well I could possibly get upset, or worse.
Stepping Stone:
From Mrs. Ray's point of view, I am working to control her actions and attitudes, since I get upset if things don't go the way I expect/want them to. But from my POV, I was just hoping Mrs. Ray could sit on the couch next to me for a bit longer, for example.
Stepping Stone:
This is "my POV"/"her POV" simply points me back into a book Mrs. Ray and I began (oh so long ago) to discuss together: Cloud & Townsend's Boundaries in Marriage
. Yes, these control issues are really boundaries.End Here:
Don't you just hate it when your 4" thick skull is just too hard to get through without trauma like this?
Now, How do I rearrange my thinking, and work to show Mrs. Ray I now understand better the things she's been harping on for over a year. (Not to mean "harping" in a bad way, but before, that's how I felt. Now I know better.)
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