Dinner chez Ray

We had planned a Christmas eve together. I cooked pot roast. We talked a while. Mrs. Ray reminded me that talking and sex does not really mean there’s reconciliation in our joint future. I reminded her that I suggested that we do nothing about getting together until after her trip to the Midwest. I also told her I truly didn’t know what to think after our two wild trysts in the sack.

I think she did appreciate some of the things I said. I tried to break her of the assumption that I have these little narrow concepts (like I follow strictly the Southern Baptist doctrine). That is not the case!! But it’s hard to explain to her, much less my dear readers.

As we parted, she did ask me if I could possibly get her at the airport when she comes back. Duhhh!

My patience is wearing thin, though. God in His Time can take the time, and it is truly necessary. But this puny human writer here is getting worn ragged by the waiting. More and more often I have fantasies of what I’ll do when I realize Mrs. Ray is truly gone. This is not my desire, of course, but it will just be devastating. My thoughts turn evil at this time, but I have clung to God’s mercy and love to keep from “going there”.

Tomorrow Mrs. Ray travels to the Midwest. My prayers are that the change of location & people will help her work things out. I will be intensely praying that the relatives there will help her see more clearly what she will be walking out of.

(I don’t think Mrs. Ray's son back east, not to speak of her uncles back there, will be so forceful – more of the “Well, you need to do what’s right by yourself, you know….” instead of the “You go girl! You can do it!” variety. I think her daughter, who has “survived” and prospered exactly this kind of separation & divorce has been a huge influence on Mrs. Ray.)

I have a theory that the more Mrs. Ray brings up the fact that she hasn't decided to get back together, the better the chances are that she will. She brought up the "ain't necessarily so" herself tonight. Also, there's no reason for me to protest anything at all, as that will just help to justify her own decision.