Starting the Next Chapter - moved out now.

Ahh, Sundays. Sunday School/Bible study and church in the morning, then home to watch Mrs. Ray move some stuff out.

In Sunday School we are looking at to he beatitudes, and today it’s “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (again, coincidence???) The “Comforted” here is actually a Greek word used for the Holy Spirit. God sends His Holy Spirit to be next to you and help out. I really feel that, these days. And the friends you have in church are totally different form friends any where else. I have no problem talking to my church friends about my feelings, and they have no problem getting down and praying with me.

Meanwhile, back at the homestead, Mrs. Ray is picking up a few things, then will come back later to watch the final episode of Amazing Race with me. We watch together on the couch. After the show, I bring out a housewarming gift for my moving-out spouse: a toaster oven. She’s been looking for one to make her breakfast in the morning. She thanks me. I mention that I think a lot of her (I meant to say I think highly of her, but she took it as I’m missing her - true enough but not what I was trying to say.)

She then told me she thinks of me, too, but I need to realize it won’t be in the old (as in married) way any more. We’re friends, see? I let that slide by.

Some thoughts on Why I’m Doing This

OK, this weekend I helped my wife move out. I spend Friday evening and almost all day Saturday getting her situated. I will be doing more things in the next week or two to help her. Get some tools for her own tool kit, set up the TV and computer system, maybe even help get pictures on the wall.

“Nutcase!” sez you. “If you are so dead set against the divorce, to the point you told her you won’t lift a finger to help her move, or give her a nickel in financial support, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING GETTING HER MOVED OUT?!?!?!?”

Yes, I am 2000% against this divorce. But In California, it’s just a matter of paperwork (and $320) to legally dissolve a marriage. I said before that if I fought this thing at all, it would only strain what relationship we now have to the breaking point. Since I am working and praying my butt off (so to speak) to salvage this marriage, I need to continue in Mrs. Ray’s good graces, eh? My deadline for this operation is June, when school ends, and Mrs. Ray expects to move to another state (and away from me). I have to keep rapprochement channels open and working as much as I can.

Under God, I see no reason for the breakup. Yes, Mrs. Ray and I have issues. But I really see our marriage at several levels: 1. God’s second gift to Man and Woman: lifetime companionship. 2. God is love. What better way for God to allow us enjoy love than to share it with your life-mate? 3. Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with His church. Marriage is good, holy and, to me at least, sacred. It should not be entered into lightly. In fact, six years ago when Mrs. Ray and I were realizing that marriage was where we were headed, I told her to be “damn sure” about our relationship. I’m still damn sure!