Out of Tune Communication

Tonight we talked with a Realtor to put our house on the market. Mrs. Ray will be moving out this weekend, and I'll stay here to keep the Home Fires burning or something.

Afterward we went to dinner together, where I offered to split Mrs. Ray's apartment rent as well as split the house payment. (Before, I did not want to help Mrs. Ray with her moving out expenses.) Later at home, she asked me for more details. I began to explain.

Somewhere in the process, Mrs. Ray got the idea I was trying to wrangle her to pay me more money. She became vary angry. I tried to point out that was certainly not the case. I told her that I was being very honest and open here, and did not want to hurt her in any way (including financially). As I tried to explain my idea, I began with the background to it. But she kept telling me to get to the point. Mrs. Ray became angry - and she nearly walked out - that I just would not get to the point. Later I admitted to her that I was afraid that if I just blurted out my proposal (to average her rents with the free months' rent she would get) she would think I was ripping her off. Again, wrongola.

Then she did tell me she would have understood "I will pay half of your rent, too," or words to that effect. I apologized to her for the long winded explanation. This miscommunication by way of different ways to view the same concept has been getting both of us into arguments for a long time. This is one of the things I really wish we could iron out. Even if we weren't married, the problems we have in this respect do not help matters.